My Stretchmarks Are Mad at Beyonce

People are still debating whether or not Beyonce actually gave birth to Blue Ivy.  Blue's birth has had so many stories that it is hard to really pin down what is true and what is hype machine. I thought the debate was over when Beyonce went to Tumblr and posted a few preggo pics, but people went in on those as staged and fake. 

After the Met Gala in NY a week ago the talk started again when Beyonce rocked a beautiful see through dress.  The chorus of "she did not carry that baby" was reignited.  It has been so bad that Beyonce's mom has even started to give interviews trying to convince the world that her daughter gave birth.  All I can say is --- Beyonce needs more people.

Now personally I don't care if she actually carried the baby or not.  Modern science has been a wonderful tool for allowing women who may have not been moms thirty years ago the chance to realize that dream.  Surrogacy is a wonderful way to experience your very own biological baby when adoption or no children at all may have been your only options. If Beyonce chose to use a surrogate, then more power to her. However, be real about it and tell us or make the ruse more believable by simply not saying anything at all.  


Here are four reasons why I think B may not be telling the truth: 


Pregnant Bellies Don't Fold

I have been pregnant twice and pregnant bellies move, stretch and bulge; they don't fold.  Early on in her pregnancy when she was on the talk show and she sat and her belly folded in half. I was baffled.  Pillows fold not babies.



Forget Your Flop-flops??

I was the queen of wearing heels while pregnant.  Even when pregnant with my twin girls I was rocking 5 inches for as long as I could.  However, any pregnant woman will tell you that around month number seven you get heavy no matter how much weight you have gained and you cannot see your feet.  Add to that the swelling and the idea of squeezing into a pair of heels not only becomes impossible in some cases, but also ridiculous.  For those lucky enough to wear heels up to the day the baby is born you see a heaviness and a carefulness to their walk (see recent pics of RHOA's Kim Zolciak).  B was light as air in her heels up to the day the birth was announced.  Why didn't we catch you in your flip-flops in any pics while pregnant?  There are tons of pics of you now carefully walking with Blue in flats around NYC --- was there no need for this caution a few months ago when you were expecting? 



Get Candid

You are one of the biggest celebs in the world and there were really no candid shots of you in the city walking around pregnant.  Just think of all the shots of Mariah Carey, Alicia Keys and the non-stop candids of Jessica Simpson.  These casual shots were pictures that looked like all pregnant women out there --- trying to get things done, trying to stay stylish and trying to make it to the end of this pregnancy.  You felt for them in a way we didn't really feel for B because she didn't have one shot that all of us pregnant girls have --- the "when is this going to be over because I am really big and tired" --- money shot.


You Are Trying to Convince Us Too Much

All the articles about losing weight and how joyful you were while pregnant are not convincing us.  If you carried your baby, then rest in your knowledge and stop trying to convince the public into believing it.  Take a clue from Nicole Kidman.  Her first pregnancy was deeply questioned because she showed up one week to an award show thin and a few days later sporting a gigantic belly.  People were questioning openly whether or not she was ever actually pregnant.  She chose to not discuss it and a few years later when baby two arrived literally out of nowhere nobody even cared to ask.  Sometimes the best way to answer your critics is to not answer them at all.


In the end, Blue is here and the true Beyonce fans are in love with her!  However, I did have to step up for the pregnant ladies out there and say that the critics may have a case.  The question of whether or not Beyonce was pregnant will be one of the questions that will go down in time like "was that Steve Harvey's hair" or "what is really under Neyo's hat?" We may never know, but it is fun to try to figure it all out.







LaDawn Black is a relationship expert, author and media personality.  Cocoa Mommalicious is her forum for sharing tales from the mommy lines, love lines and life lines.  For more information visit www.ladawnblack.com  .