Love Time Machine ......

I was on facebook yesterday and a friend posted a status on "what would you go back and tell your 16 yr old self?"  I loved it! 


Often I ponder what I would have done then if I only knew the things I now know about life and of course love.  So of course I wanted to take a spin with a few things that I would go back and tell my teen self about love if I was given the opportunity:


  

There Is No "One"

So much is made of finding the one, but personally I don't think there is one great fit for any of us.  Life is fluid and I think if you are lucky early on you meet someone who is a match at that time in your life that is willing to grow and change with you over the years.  However, for most of us the "one" takes the form of the best one for that particular stage in life.  I believe that there are people that really are an ideal fit for you, but there is not just one --- forever.  That simply doesn't seem fair.



You Will Get Over It

Love can disappoint, hurt and end and you will with time move on.  Not that you forget that person totally or forget what you shared it is just that with time it won't affect you quite as much.  We are truly adaptive when it comes to love.



Enjoy the Experience

There are few things more pleasureful then the early days of a great love. Getting to know one another, discovering each other and simply just having fun are the things that can't be recreated in a long-term relationship.  Instead of worrying so much about where everything is headed --- just enjoy the journey.



Diversify

Date many different people and enjoy the sport of trying on new cultures, interests and backgrounds.  Don't just do what is expected -- do what excites and intrigues you.



Mom Sometimes is Right

If she doesn't like him, more than likely he is not the guy for you.  Accept that her years on the planet have taught her a bit about bad apples and sometimes take her advice.



Bask in Your Dad's Love

A girl needs her daddy and whenever possible she needs to work on building a relationship with dad that is her own.  Having a relationship with dad allows a woman to see herself through the eyes of a man who wants absolutely nothing from her but her happiness and it makes it far easier for her to see that same good heart in other men.



Pick a Partner Not Just a Lover

Know that love while it is passionate and pleasureful is also grounded in building a future.  It is great that he can do all sorts of craziness in the bedroom, but all the passion and tricks do very little for you when you are trying to pay bills, raise children, negotiate work/home balance and simply be happy on a daily basis.  Be passionate about a great partner!




LaDawn Black is a relationship expert, author and media personality. Cocoa Mommalicious is her forum for sharing tales from the mommy lines, love lines and life lines. For more information visit www.ladawnblack.com .