Vanessa Bryant, Kobe Bryant's wife, has responded finally to Drake's lyric that went viral during a difficult time in her marriage where Drake stated "she wasn't with him shooting in the gym." Which alluded to the fact that Vanessa didn't deserve money from the divorce because she wasn't the one doing the actual basketball work. She waited quite a bit to respond, but her comments that her job was to "manage his home life and sign the checks" in my opinion were dead on.
On a lot of blogs people are hating on her response because Vanessa's "work" is not seen as really work at all. I say to those folks --- take a week from your 9 to 5 and come home and then tell me that you didn't do anything at all worthy of respect and pay. Vanessa bravo for stating what every woman who wants to provide a quality home life for her kids and man knows --- that shit is not easy!
Whether you are managing nannies, maids, the lawn guy and overseeing the accountant or you are doing all of the bill paying, kid care and housecleaning on your own; maintaining a home is indeed "real work" if you are doing it right. It is hard as heck to keep a house clean with kids running around, it is hard to sit down and make appointments/pay bills when kids are fighting for your attention and don't even mention squeezing in time to cook or take a shower when everyone wants your input and love. It doesn't matter if you are a rich wife with a staff, a stay at home mom or a career girl juggling it all; your role .... sometimes your most important role as a woman is keeper of the home.
We want to say roles have changed over the years and that a woman doesn't have to work quite so hard at home, but women who do it successfully know that is so untrue. When anyone a teacher/caregiver sees a problem with the kids they secretly think "what was your mom thinking." When a house is unclean or disorganized, guests think "why isn't she cleaning?" If your man steps out of the house not dressed well, stressed or disconnected from his family, thoughts go to "she is not handling her business."
The truth is that my husband lived on his own for a number of years and he can pick out his own clothes, clean a house, take care of our kids and pay bills, but there are just some aspects of our marriage that fall into the wife column no matter how capable and responsible my husband may be. It is the same for him. If the lawn is not cut, cars not maintained, a big purchase or repair is not done or the money is a little funny the world looks at my husband as not handling things --- trust I can cut grass, take the car to the shop, make money and make major purchases --- those things are just not placed by society in my column and I am not judged on them.
So Vanessa is right in standing her ground as a partner in her marriage. Yes, Kobe makes the money, but there are kids and a home that would not run smoothly if she was not managing it. All of us have worked with people with chaotic home lives and watched them flounder on the job. Vanessa's statement was about striking a "balance" and if you want the business of your home life to run well you need someone to run it.
Women play an important role in keeping their men afloat. We need to stop taking the value away from keeping the home fires burning and get back to valuing the "work" it takes to make something very complicated look like it takes no work at all.
No comments:
Post a Comment